(Transcribed from “Order of Frogfather” by Akaltat)

The Holy order of The Frogfather

Core Beliefs

  1. All Hail the Frog!

Frogs are the supreme beings of the world. They are wise, they are strong, and most importantly, they have the bounce.

  1. Thou Shalt Not Eat the Frog!

The ultimate blasphemy. Anyone who dares harm a frog shall be smitten with a thousand wet croaks of judgement.

  1. Lily Pads are Sacred.

The Holy Frogfather rests upon the grandest of lily pads in the sky. To sit upon one is to feel his blessing.

  1. Consume the Slime, Smite the Magma!

Slimes are a divine snack for the Frog’s children, but Magma Cubes are abominations that must be eradicated. To defeat them is to honor the Frogfather’s will.

Rituals & Traditions

The Great Leap of Faith

Every devout follower must prove their faith by jumping off a high place into a body of water while shouting “Ribbitus guide me!”

The Nightly Croak

At sunset, all followers must crouch and spam the jump button whle making frog noises in unison. This pleases the Frogfather.

The Feast of the Frogspawn

Once a season, followers must gather and throw slimeballs at each other in a joyous celebration of froggy prosperity.

Prophecies & Divine Rewards

It is said that the most devout of Froglings will, upon death, ascend to the Grand Swamp in the Sky, where the lily pads are endless, the water is always warm, and the insects are forever plentiful.

Those who betray the Frogfather will be sent to The Nether Bog, a fiery swamp where Magma Cubes hop eternally, and the frogs never croak in joy.

Final Prayer

May your jumps be high, your tongue be quick, and your heart be forever froggy. Ribbit be with you.